


i'm sick of being my own best friend

by orphan_account



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Depression, Future Fic, Gen, Smoking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-29
Updated: 2017-04-29
Packaged: 2018-10-25 09:47:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 623
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10761738
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Phichit is twenty-seven and he's terribly alone.





	i'm sick of being my own best friend

**Author's Note:**

> this is so sad oh no im sorry. it was for phichit week day 6: "future". 
> 
> enjoy!

Phichit feels more and more stressed by the time he's twenty-seven. He's one of the top skaters in the world and he has to keep showing Thailand to the world, he has to keep answering bland questions about skating and he has to keep surprising the crowds.

He just wants to retire already— he wants to complete his major at Detroit and become a teacher. He misses the days where he loved to answer questions, how having a gold medal around his neck felt like something.

He misses talking with Leo and Guang-hong and Yuuri. Leo and Guang-hong are twenty-six and twenty-four respectively, Leo had retired after needing hip surgery while Guang-hong is a second-class skater.

Yuuri is thirty-one now, has long retired, and he's married to Viktor. Phichit misses him. He feels alone in the world, like there's no one to talk to. He's ancient, almost, with how there's just generation after generation of figure skaters getting into the ice, being better than him, being more talented and younger than him.

He understands Viktor's depression now. He understands feeling alone, old and feeble, ready to retire. He sees how new sixteen-year-olds get into the Senior competitions, how Viktor is still a living legend.

He sighs as he sits down in the balcony of the place they're holding the banquet in. He hears the party going down inside, how a eighteen-year-old American skater is getting drunk off his mind, yelling with ecstasy about how he can't do that in his home country.

Phichit misses being social, having friends. He looks at his phone— his last conversation with Leo was a year ago. He takes a cig pack from his pocket and turns one cigarette on before inhaling.

It tastes like defeat, and he feels empty with how he's actively destroying his lungs by smoking. He doesn't care. He just wants to feel part of the skating world again. But he knows he won't— he feels disconnected, he feels alone.

He remembers being twenty, being youthful, being friendly and excited and happy. He misses it.

He's deep in thought, his cigarette hanging from his lips, smoke slowly pouring out of it, when he hears the balcony door open. He takes his cig with his fingers and turns around.

It's Seung-gil. Phichit sighs; he hasn't ever really been his friend, but he appreciates his company. He's one of the oldest skaters, along with him, that got to the GPF. "Hi," Phichit mutters.

Seung-gil only nods before sitting down. "Didn't know you smoked," he tells him, voice low. He's changed in all of these years; there aren't strands of hair on his forehead anymore and he's definitely not skating to mambo anymore.

"No one but Ciao Ciao knows," Phichit nods, not looking at him. He takes another drag of the cigarette like it's not big of a deal. "And you do, now."

"Does it feel good?"

"Helps with stress," Phichit answers. "The first times sucked. But now it helps me a little."

"Can..." Seung-gil licks his lips. There's a sadness deep inside his eyes, Phichit notices, and they seem almost sunken. "Can I try them?"

"Oh, sure." He hands him a cig from the pack and his lighter.

Seung-gil's first drag is sloppy and when he takes it out of his lips he starts coughing. "Fuck," he breathes before coughing one more time. He tries to take another one. "I-It feels weird."

"You're inhaling something that isn't air, so it feels weird at first."

"I... I see," Seung-gil nods. Phichit can't feel like he's starting to like it even if his head hurts, because he takes another drag. "Thank you."

"No problem."

Being near another depressed, older than most figure skater makes Phichit feel oddly satisfied.


End file.
